Conversations with a Priest

Sean was never afraid of dying. He worked so frequently around death, it was no longer a morbid or taboo topic of thought or discussion. He did military funeral honors for five years and worked for Lynch & Sons Funeral home before getting picked up for AGR (Active Reservist) with the Army. He was baptized... Continue Reading →

Take Care

I noticed my coworker watering her plant today and thought...I am like that plant. When I was a little girl I used to help my mom water her flowers in the flower boxes and I thought you had to pour the water on the leaves and flowers, but I was wrong. It's not the pretty,... Continue Reading →

Whispers

I was talking to a mom at karate the other night after Gwendolyn helped herself to some of this lady's daughter's toys. We made conversation and as it always does, my dead husband came up. Though I didn't mention the method of his passing the conversation segwayed into post partum depression and her friend who... Continue Reading →

Honesty is the Best Policy

They say "honesty" is the best policy. But when it came to the truth of telling Luke how his dad had died, I took a more "don't ask, don't tell approach". I couldn't even muster up the heart to tell Luke that Sean had died, Sean's best friend did it for me. How could I... Continue Reading →

Trigger Me Timbers

I apologize for the title of this post, I simply couldn't help myself. Ahem, anyways-   I bought a gun about three months ago, which may take more than a few of you aback. Why? I thought, would it make people feel uneasy that I had purchased a gun? Was it because my husband used... Continue Reading →

Made Ya Look

*THIS POST IS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND CONTAINS VIVID IMAGERY OF A SUICIDE* ************************************************************************************* It's like that stupid circle game where you try to make someone look at a circle you've made with your thumb and pointer finger. Or a horrific car accident. You just can't help but look. I don't know why I did it.... Continue Reading →

The First Cut is the Deepest…or is it?

Sorry, Sheryl Crow. I have to disagree. I thought that my first breakup after Sean died would be an absolute travesty resulting in many tears served with a generous helping of self-pity and of course, wine. But, there were no tears of sadness Zero self-pity and no wine (surprisingly) However, there was; Rage Disgust and... Continue Reading →

Hurt

Look at that picture. One of our first and then our last together. Six years, an entire life, a home and a family- gone. And all it took was enough pressure on a trigger to send a bullet careening through my husband's head, shattering his skull and our future together. I wish you could feel... Continue Reading →

Reasons Why

They say everything happens for a reason but I simply cannot fathom the reason for this. While I have no doubt in my mind that God gave me Luke and Gwendolyn because he knew I would need something to force me to take care of myself and survive, I often find myself befuddled, wracking my... Continue Reading →

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