Happy Birthday

I hope. I hope wherever you are now, you're as happy as you were in this picture. I hope you're not scared or suffering anymore. I hope your soul is at peace. I wish. Oh, I wish you could see how loved you were. I wish you could see how you were the tie that... Continue Reading →

3,470 Miles

I write this from my hostel in Dublin, Ireland. Today is the tenth day of our trip and the last country before heading home and checking back into reality. While it's been refreshing to get away for a bit, the shadow of grief you cast upon me knows no bounds and still follows me wherever... Continue Reading →

Dear Suicide

Dear Suicide, We've gotten to know each other well over the past 250 days. You arrived- so suddenly, unyielding and unwantedly into my home and I wish I had never come to know you, wish I had never learned your name or lost people that I've love to you. You are not brave. Or courageous.... Continue Reading →


What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...or at least that's what Kelly Clarkston says. People always say to me "I don't know how you do it, you're so strong!" My therapist says I'm strong. I tell her "I don't have a choice" I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Have a mental breakdown... Continue Reading →

Grief Games

Ever since Sean died I play a game in my head when people complain, and I've decided to name it, appropriately so, The Grief Game. Round 1: Oh, your husband would rather play video games then spend time with you tonight? Gee, that's rough- mine's dead. I win. Round 2: Your husband is away on... Continue Reading →

I Miss You

It's been seven months since you died. Two hundred and twelve days. ...and God, I miss you. Last night, half asleep I rolled over to put my arm around you only to be abruptly woken up with the reminder that you are no longer here. I miss snuggling with you. I miss waking up next... Continue Reading →


Death creates a swelling storm of grief within you that takes control of the person you thought you were. You lose yourself in the waves as they slowly creep in or come sweeping over you and overtake you like a little boat lost at sea. It comes and goes in waves and it carries you... Continue Reading →


In response to my recent vlog post, it had been brought to my attention that some people are offended by my swearing. And to them I kindly say: Fuck off. You can be offended when your husband dies and leaves your children fatherless 🤷‍♀️


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