Made Ya Look

*THIS POST IS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND CONTAINS VIVID IMAGERY OF A SUICIDE* ************************************************************************************* It's like that stupid circle game where you try to make someone look at a circle you've made with your thumb and pointer finger. Or a horrific car accident. You just can't help but look. I don't know why I did it.... Continue Reading →

The First Cut is the Deepest…or is it?

Sorry, Sheryl Crow. I have to disagree. I thought that my first breakup after Sean died would be an absolute travesty resulting in many tears served with a generous helping of self-pity and of course, wine. But, there were no tears of sadness Zero self-pity and no wine (surprisingly) However, there was; Rage Disgust and... Continue Reading →


Look at that picture. One of our first and then our last together. Six years, an entire life, a home and a family- gone. And all it took was enough pressure on a trigger to send a bullet careening through my husband's head, shattering his skull and our future together. I wish you could feel... Continue Reading →

Reasons Why

They say everything happens for a reason but I simply cannot fathom the reason for this. While I have no doubt in my mind that God gave me Luke and Gwendolyn because he knew I would need something to force me to take care of myself and survive, I often find myself befuddled, wracking my... Continue Reading →

Your Brain on Grief

You've probably heard of "baby brain", a term defined by the fog that encompasses your memory and thought processes after the sleepless, stressful time of bringing a new baby home, but I want to talk about "widow brain". Something discussed less frequently, but is just as real and frustrating. I'm a bit of a brain... Continue Reading →

Parenting Through Grief

Tonight about an hour after being put to bed, Luke came into my room crying. He told me "I just don't understand why my dad had to die". How do I tell him? That Sean didn't have to die. In a way, he chose to die. Of course, I don't tell him. Luke is not... Continue Reading →


I had my first experiance with a medium a few months ago. I tossed around the idea of seeing one, just to see what would happen. They've always facinated me, as a child I used to watch Sylvia Brown on The Montel Williams Show and every now and then I still watch The Long Island... Continue Reading →

Happy Holidays

The holiday season is upon us! Snow, cozy blankets, Christmas movies, comfort food and lights- I absolutely LOVE the holidays. least, I used to. My birthday happened to fall on Thanksgiving day this year so it was a bit of a double whammy for me. Normally on Thanksgiving Day, we'd stay in our pajamas... Continue Reading →

The Good Wife

As the one year mark of Sean's death quickly approaches, I am thinking more and more about how I hate being a widow. I miss being a wife. I didn't ask for this life. Grief was thrust upon me and my children so unexpectedly, so unwaivering. Recently, I was asked if I'd want things to... Continue Reading →

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